Friendship In Grief

Several years ago, I reconnected with an old friend over wine and canvas and somehow we got on the topic of infertility. Our conversation was deep and she listened to me talk a lot. She offered no advice I can remember or solution that fixed it. It was just that somebody understood. My experience and my grief wasn’t weird or isolated. And that was the greatest relief.

Grief can be separating. It’s so easy for people to pull away from us because they don’t know how to relate or sympathize. Sometimes it’s an old friend who has all her babies around her. Sometimes it’s a family member who can only ask you how work is going. But let me encourage you to do one thing.

My girl, we cannot walk this road of grief alone and the truth is, we aren’t alone even if it feels like it. There is someone out there that shares our experience. It may take a little work to find them. It may take a little time to know if someone is safe to ask that question “Is this you too?”. But let me encourage you, the grief feels a little less heavy when you know that someone else is linking arms with you as you wade through the same deep water together.

Of course we hope that each of you can find this person in real life. Someone to hug you and bring you coffee and know what your laugh sounds like. But if you don’t have that, we want to listen. We have a Facebook Community Group that is for this. Sharing our stories. Connecting women who share experiences. Listening and grieving together. It’s a safe place and we hope you will feel comfortable enough to share your story with us. Let’s be friends, okay?

Casey Watkins has been married for eight years to her IT handyman. Together, they live in an old house on the east side of Indianapolis with their cat, Charlie. In their seven years of infertility, they’ve renovated their house, visited Iceland and baked a lot of cake. You can read more about Casey over on her blog, Chasing Cozy.

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