We had been married for three years and I was two years deep into waiting for a baby. It was a difficult season of announcements and baby showers, and one gloomy Saturday, he surprised me with a trip to our favorite amusement park. As we zoomed down the roller coaster hill, smiling and squealing, the weight lifted.
Fast forward a few years to the one where I spent it in front of a screen because I was numb and just wanted to be alone. One date night, he took me to the local bowling alley. We played a couple games, snapped a pic of our shoes, and I remembered what it was like to smile again as we drove home with burgers and cheese curds.
In the hardest seasons of grief, when it’s easier to entertain your feelings away with a TV show, I’ve found life in having fun together. Fun is like an IV in the relationship. You remember that your spouse is a good friend. You remember what it’s like to thrive. You remember that there is life outside of grief. The best part is that it doesn’t have to be complicated! It can be whatever you feel like you’re up to. Maybe it’s having a friend for a game night in your pjs. Maybe it’s going to a fancy new Italian restaurant and eating all the carbs. Maybe it’s traveling to a palm lined beach far away from your sofa and your infertility. I’ve done all of these and they’re all good ideas. Trust me.
If you’ve been coasting in the clouds of anxiety and grief, I would encourage you to take a night off. Turn off the TV. Swipe on some lipstick. Grab your spouse and go get some ice cream. Do something fun and different. The shake up will be good for you, your spouse and your heavy hearts.
Casey Watkins has been married for eight years to her IT handyman. Together, they live in an old house on the east side of Indianapolis with their cat, Charlie. In their seven years of infertility, they’ve renovated their house, visited Iceland and baked a lot of cake. You can read more about Casey over on her blog, Chasing Cozy.