I was talking to another member of our Yet We Thrive team who is also a dear friend and fellow infertility warrior. She is so good at speaking the truth in love and usually says just what I needed to hear. She was the one that reminded me of something very important.
In my seven years of infertility, I’ve heard it all. “Just relax. Go to this doctor. Have you thought about adopting? Have you thought about IVF? You’re next! I just know it’ll happen. My friend was diagnosed infertile and (insert long story about yet another person getting their baby here)”. We know that all these words of advice and assumptions are meant well, but they really aren’t helpful. The track we hear in our head over and over “But what if….” What if it doesn’t happen? In infertility, we do not live with guarantees.
In this group, I get to work pretty closely with women who have lots of different stories. You’ve heard a few on our podcast. They’re all heartbreaking in their own ways. Listening to one such story and hearing about this mom’s struggle during a particular month made me think. When you’re infertile, you don’t have a month.
As I write this, I’m sitting on my couch next to my cat, listening to a soundtrack and the rain hitting the window, smelling a eucalyptus candle burning, sipping some coffee. As I write this, I’m on my period. My uterus cramping, my back aching, my stomach bloating, my head splitting, my body angry that yet again I’m not pregnant. And I’m just as angry as my body is.