I remember it well, that first breath of living again. After years of high functioning depression and anxiety, I finally found relief in a pill. I wanted to paint! And I wanted to learn to crochet! And I started planning a garden! And I wanted to cook food again! When I finally found help, I could look back and see how dry I was and it made me realize…
… my creativity is a temperature gauge for my mental health. When I’m not doing well, we eat queso and spend a lot of time in front of a screen. I barely have the capacity to meal plan and I have no desire to really cook anything. My house doesn’t get much care and I have no inspiration for organizing or painting or any other house projects. I might pull out a coloring book but probably not and don’t even suggest watercolor. My life gets shrunk down to whatever video game I’m playing at the moment and whatever show we’re watching.
When I am doing well though, watch out! The house is cleaner and I’m always dreaming or planning or Pinteresting for some project. We read more books and magazines and spend more time playing games together. I might pick up a new hobby or an old one. My writing flourishes, here and on social media. I’m more intentional about yoga and hiking and being active outside of work. I plan date nights and delicious weekend dinners and often make cookies or a cake. Yeah, seriously, watch out.
It’s a little bit frustrating that there’s not really an in-between for me. I’m either all go or no go and I’m working on that. But knowing what that looks like and feels like has helped me in general! And I have to wonder, maybe you’re the same? When was the last time you did a creative thing, just for the sake of creativity? When was the last time you wanted to make a recipe beyond ramen? Even if it’s just pulling out a coloring book while you watch a show, look for life in creativity this month! It might be painting or cooking or knocking out that wall in your house, whatever fills you up and inspires you. And don’t forget to share with us on social media!
Casey Watkins has been married to her IT handyman for ten years. Together, they live in an old house on the east side of Indianapolis with their cats, Charlie and Hermione. In their nine years of infertility, they’ve renovated their house, visited Iceland and baked a lot of cake. You can read more about Casey on her Instagram, chasing_cozy!