I remember it well, that first breath of living again. After years of high functioning depression and anxiety, I finally found relief in a pill. I wanted to paint! And I wanted to learn to crochet! And I started planning a garden! And I wanted to cook food again! When I finally found help, I could look back and see how dry I was and it made me realize…
Here in Indiana, you have to take full advantage of the good weather when you get it. When we had one super warm day in February, I opened lots of windows around the house, including the one above our bed. When we went to bed that evening, the sheets smelled like outside, fresh and earthy. It was so life giving to breathe deep as I drifted off to sleep!
Do you ever see a piece of art and it speaks to you in a way that you just have to have it? Well, in my wonderful pink room is this poster. It says “Sometimes you have to make joy instead of wait for it.” This is the poster that inspired me to paint the spare bedroom and turn it into a haven for myself instead of waiting for Baby Watkins to give it a purpose.
It’s Easter weekend. One that I didn’t realize would be difficult for me until we started attending a new church full of families. Our first Easter Sunday there, we were a little late (as usual) and squeezed in on the end of a row, right next to a large family. Dad on the other end of the row, mom holding a sweet little pink clad baby, several other kids in between and the little boy, probably about five years old, directly on my right. I wasn’t prepared. His little voice belting out “He arose! He arose! Hallelujah Christ rose!” had me frantically swallowing tears. Well hello there random trigger right in the middle of church.